Fires burn up canyons...

In my daydreams and fantasises I become timeless. I can stretch one breath to the infinite, nestle deep into that single heartbeat, and create something wondrously impossible. I can shape countless new worlds and live each of those imaginary lives to their fullest. As many lives as I want, and in any direction. But I don't know at what point that breath, that heartbeat, will reclaim me and transform everything I've built into forgotten dust. Not even a full memory, only a ghost of a dream, replaced by the incessant light demanding that my body adheres to a reality it so desperately wants to escape from.

Wash my worries away...

Say you want the moon,

watch me learn to fly.

Ain't no mountain you could point to,

I wouldn't climb.

It's crazy, but it's true,

there's nothing I won't do,

I'd risk it all for you.

I can't need this anymore...

I think I need to empty my mind, and relax each other muscle group until I feel like I'm going to melt into the floor. Then I just have to let it all go. All the expectations, all the unneeded worry, all the things other people want for me but I don't want myself.

It's getting quite hard to understand what exactly is wrong with me. And very much impossible to articulate it. I can hear myself saying words that make sense in my head, but I keep hitting a wall with people that are supposed to get me the most. How many more times and in how many more ways can I say that I've had enough? That I need a break. Even if it's filled with delusion, I just want a moment of peace. But I think I'm slowly starting to realize, as we get older, that is a luxury none of us are really awarded. It's just a constant barrage of life happening all at once. Time folds into itself, and unhealed bruises bleed out into the future.