Finger on the pulse...

It's not what you look at that matters; it's what you see. And my perspective was now open to uncertainty. And where there was uncertainty, there was also possibility, whatever the present looked like. I see so very clearly the life I could lead, the lives I could change, the memories I could make. But the path to this paradise is hidden. I occasionally see the outskirts of a path, but as quickly as it manifests, it slips from sight. There is something out there for me. To take as my own. To use. To redefine. I will not fear, and I will continue to grasp towards it. I think I can see something in the dark. 

May he be forgiven...

For the first time, it's really evident to me that as much as I might desire change, I have to be willing to take a risk, to let go of the past. In other words, I have to finish what I started. And then what? This isn't so much about time on my hands as about life in my hands. And it's life as currency. Where am I going to spend it? What’s the best value? I'm limited only by what I can dream and allow myself to risk. It seems pointless to go on for the sake of going on, if there isn't some larger idea, some sense of enhancing the lives of others. I have so many plans and fantasies of how the world could be a better place. But no idea how to get there.

Going somewhere sane...

That's just the way life goes,

I like to slam doors closed.

Trust me, I know it's always about me,

I love you, 

I'm sorry.