Time won't wait on me...

I once believed in faith - that if I patiently waited, something good will happen. But as it turns out, the chapter I am in, does not really have a happy ending. Just a series of unfortunate events that I am forced to deal with while I'm bombarded by the voices in my head. So once again, I find myself devastated. Months have gone by and it doesn't feel like I've grown at all. I've tried several times to adjust my mindset, but ended up in the same ending. It was always a different title, same story; different choices made but ending up with the same plot and finale. Now I think I am done. Utterly broken by this never ending maze, destined to wander endlessly and finally giving up faith.

Dance halls, another cadence...

 

I've got no more tricks up my sleeve...

Everything was becoming blurred - before his eyes, inside his head - because of the fierce wind, the boundless space with nothing to hold on to, the clouds he had come too close to, which long continued to journey on inside him. The audacity to never stop believing in sojourning among the summits have their price.

Nothing seems real anymore. Life feels like a cosmic conspiracy, and as much as I try not to be a victim, I so easily fall back into patterns of blame and hurt. All because I can't get rid of the hunch, that there is something more waiting for me out there. An existence I can claim. Even the flames from the fire seem to beckon to me, drawing me into this fantasy of a journey beyond this one, buried somewhere deep in my subconscious. If only I could find the key, If only. And so I continue onwards, trying to find some logical way of passing my time, of justifying a means to an end.