So it goes, so it goes, so it goes...

Poison spreading to my lungs,

I'm not holding my breath, 

not holding any faith at all.

And I'll pray for you, 

be in pain for you.

I'll leave the porch light on,

heartbroken, each morning,

when it's me that turns it off.

Only do what pain allows...

The waiting. The wanting. Something inside me snaps. And I hate myself for it. And I hate those around me who contributed to it. And I hate how I've failed, and how others have failed me. I hate that I have to deal with this. And I hate how I can't count on anyone to be completely there when I need them, exactly the way I need them to be. And then I can't even sleep, because of my noisy brain. No matter how tired I am. It's impossible to accomplish anything but lying here in bed. Frustrated and victimized at three in the morning.

The world has changed his heart...