For me it happens all the time...

It was like when you make a move in chess and just as you take your finger off the piece, you see the mistake you've made, and there's this panic because you don't know yet the scale of disaster you've left yourself open to. And more often than not, when something like that happens, I have a strange, instinctual desire for things to get even worse. I think of a terrible outcome and then wish for it. I recognise the pattern, but I don't understand it. It's as though my mind is running simulations and can't help but prefer the most dramatic option - as though, in that eventuality, I could enjoy it from the outside.

Something just for my dreams...

One thing was certain: life was a maze. There was nothing straight forward about it. Everything that pretended to be consecutive somehow ended in unexpected twists and turns, only to leave you full of wonder at how you possibly made it through to the end. You couldn't just pack a pair of hedge trimmers to take a shortcut and hoodwink fate. No, you had to walk the path of life given to you with all its detours. The goal wasn't to avoid getting lost sometimes - in fact, that was most unlikely given that you were in a maze. The trick was simply to keep walking. To enjoy the process of getting lost and finding yourself again, different and more grown-up than when you had left. One step after another, that was all that it took. One step after another, so simple and so utterly enough.

Easy come, easy go...