It struck me, sharp and hard, that I had been given so many chances to save my soul that my entire life had been constructed around these chances. That was my nature, going from temptation to temptation, not to sin, but to be redeemed. Now I no longer live in the beginning, I have lost it forever. Now I find myself is in the middle, knowing neither the end nor the beginning, and yet knowing that I am in the middle, coming from the beginning and going towards the end. I see that life is determined by these two facets, of which I know only that I don't not know them at all.
