Emission impossible...

Why do we say things? Wouldn't the world be so much better if we weren't able to speak? Speaking just always causes trouble. I mean I know it's been thousands of times when I simply wanted to stab myself for the things that came out of my mouth.

I don't know if it's just me but I have this inner voice thingy in my head, and I'm it's bitch. I just don't have the strenght to fight it. It's like an Allien that devoured my brain and took control of my actions. And the thing that really sucks is that there's no cure for it.

So I guess at the end of the day I'll always say stupid things. Stuff I'll regret saying for the rest of my life. And no I'm not one of those people who believe that it's still better to say something than leave it unsaid. That's bullshit. Some things just don't need to be said...

Anatomy of the devils brain...

A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds. When the weeds being to grow, it's like a garden full of snow. When the snow begins to fall, it's like a bird upon the wall. And when the bird away does fly, it's like an eagle in the sky. When the sky begins to roar, it's like a lion at the door. When the door begins to crack, it's like a slit across your back. When your back begins to smart, it's like a penknife to your heart. And when you heart begins to bleed you are dead, and dead...

And dead indeed...

I blog, therefore I am...

Shy? Funny? Smart? Reliable? Sexy? Stupid? Arrogant? Selfish? Anxious? Short? Tall? Big? Small? Ugly? Beautiful? Skinny? Fat? Straight? Gay? Bi? Easy going? Stuck up? Mad? Sane? Irresponsible? Reckless? Wannabe? Jock? Geek? Loner?

I hate labels. I refuse to believe that one single word can define who I am. Words are meaningless. Everyone of us is far to complex to be described by words. Our actions define us, shape us in the eyes of others. Words are there to destroy and downgrade the very essence of our being. So the best thing all of us can do is to simply not care and let our lives speak for us...

Mind over matter...

I'm learning that sometimes, even when you love someone more than you thought possible, you have to let them go. It hurts like hell, but that's life I guess. Letting go of your past to become the person you're meant to be. Freeing yourself from the people who just don't fit into your life anymore.

The key is to take it day by day, moment by moment. Then eventually when you reach that place, that happiness that you've been waiting for forever, letting go was the right thing to do.

From Method to Madness...

I was once told that there are two kinds of people. Those who chose to be happy and those who chose to persue a life of meaning. I believe that this makes a lot of sense. I mean, to be truly happy, one must live absolutely in the present. With no thought of what's gone before, and no thought of what lies ahead.

But, a life of meaning... One is condemned to wallow in the past and obsess about the future... So what is the right choice? Is there such a thing as a right choice or can we have both? I'll never know, nor would I want to. Because if you ask me, it's not so much about the destination. It's really about how you get there...

I wish...

We all get at least one good wish a year, over the candles on our birthday. Some of us throw in more. On eye lashes, fountains, lucky stars and every now and then one of those wishes comes true. So what then? Is it as good as we hoped? Do we bask in the warm glow of our happines or do we just notice that we have a long list of wishes waiting to be wished...

It's a never ending circle. We want something, we get it, then we want something else. It makes us crazy, because we can never settle down and just live, just be happy. But the thing about me, is that I'll never stop trying...

Death has a shadow...

I believe in heaven. I also believe in hell. I've never seen either but I believe they exist. They have to exist. Because without a heaven, without a hell we're all just headed for limbo...
Heaven, hell, limbo…

Cause every word and every turn,
every sign points to your hurt,
with every hour your drifting futher away...

No one really knows where we’re going, or what’s waiting for us when we get there. But the one thing I can say for sure with absolute certainty is that there are moments that take us to another place, moments of heaven on earth and maybe for now that’s all we need to know…

To whom it may concern...

This is not a blog. Do now expect to gain anything by reading this thing that is not a blog. You will not gain new insights about the world while reading this thing that is not a blog. Time reading this thing that is not a blog is time not well spent. I urge you to spot reading this thing that is not a blog. This thing that is not a blog was created by a person who is afraid to change the things he can, who continuously wants to change the things he can't and who does not have the wisdom to know the difference...

But at the end of the day it is not important who I am, because the thing that I have learned during my short stay on this place we call Earth is that it's not about who we are or what we are, but who they allow us to be. We are what people think we are. Those who believe that they themselves choose what and who they will become are fools. I believe that I am in control. Does that make me a fool? Perhaps...