Thursday, October 31, 2019

I feel your signals...


Can a mountain stand without a sea?
Put me in a cage and set me free.
Sundays are my favorite,
all we do is come home and sleep.

What do I get by being sincere?
Love and pain and what is dear to me.
So small, where do we go?
Aren't we all lost in a world so big?

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Simply wanting to know where to go...



To want to run away is an essence of being human, it transforms any staying through the transfiguration of choice. To think about fleeing from circumstances, from a relationship or from work is part of the conversation itself and helps us understand the true distilled nature of our own reluctance. Strangely, we are perhaps most fully incarnated as humans, when part of us does not want to be here, or doesn't know how to be here. Presence is only fully understood and realized through fully understanding our reluctance to show up. To understand the part of us that wants nothing to do with the full necessities of work, of relationship, of loss, of doing what is necessary; to learn humility, to cultivate self-compassion and to sharpen that sense of humor that allows you to get up every morning, and try again.

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Monday, October 28, 2019

Going into it blindly...

How many of us stop short of success on purpose? How many of us sabotage our own happiness because failure, while miserable, is a fear we're familiar with? Success, however, dreams coming true, are a whole new kind of terrifying, an entire new species of responsibilities and disillusions, requiring a new way to think, act and become. Why do we really quit? Because it's hopeless? Or because it's possible?


All I know is that I've wasted all these years looking for something, a sort of trophy I'd get only if I really, really did enough to deserve it. But I don't want it anymore, I want something else now, something warm and sheltering, something I can turn to, regardless of what I do, regardless of who I become. Something that will just be there, always, like tomorrow's sky. That's what I want now, and I think it's what you should want too. But it will be too late soon. We'll become too set to change. If we don't take our chance now, another may never come for either of us.

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Shining until it stops...



I like trains. I like their rhythm, and I like the freedom of being suspended between two places, all anxieties of purpose taken care of: for this moment I know where I am going. Without a doubt a path has been laid before me, and it is just a matter of time until I arrive, and God knows I've been travelling for quite some time. And as I gaze at world passing me by, I remind myself that the sea may catch fire, the planets may collide in space, the sun may quench off its heat, but what we understand is that our peace is like a river in our souls; it's surface may wave about in turbulence, but it's bottom is cool and gently calm.

Thursday, October 24, 2019

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Just like a monkey...


They say oh my god,
I see the way you shine.
Take your hand, my dear, 
and place them both in mine.
You know you stopped me dead
 when I was passing by,
and now I beg 
to see you dance just one more time.

Monday, October 21, 2019

I'd do it all again...



A story is not like a road to follow ... it's more like a house. You go inside and stay there for a while, wandering back and forth and settling where you like and discovering how the room and corridors relate to each other, how the world outside is altered by being viewed from these windows. And you, the visitor, the reader, are altered as well by being in this enclosed space, whether it is ample and easy or full of crooked turns, or sparsely or opulently furnished. You can go back again and again, and the house, the story, always contains more than you saw the last time. It also has a sturdy sense of itself of being built out of its own necessity, not just to shelter or beguile you. For in the end, we're all made of stories. When they finally put us underground, the stories are what will go on. Not forever, perhaps, but for a time. It's a kind of immortality, I suppose, bounded by limits, it's true, but then so's everything.

Sunday, October 20, 2019

Friday, October 18, 2019

Quite miss home...

At no other time than autumn does the earth let itself be inhaled in one smell, the ripe earth; in a smell that is in no way inferior to the smell of the sea, bitter where it borders on taste, and more honey-sweet where you feel it touching the first sounds. Containing depth within itself, darkness, something of the grave almost.


That old October feeling, left over from school days, of summer passing, vacation nearly done, obligations gathering, books and heartache in the air ... Another fall, another turned page: there was something of jubilee in that annual autumnal beginning, as if last year's mistakes had been wiped clean by summer. So use what you have, use what the world gives you. Use the first day of fall: bright flame before winter's deadness; harvest; orange, gold, amber; cool nights and the smell of fire. Our tree-lined streets are set ablaze, our kitchens filled with the smells of nostalgia: apples bubbling into sauce, roasting squash, cinnamon, nutmeg, cider, warmth itself. The leaves as they spark into wild color just before they die are the world's oldest performance art, and everything we see is celebrating one last violently hued hurrah before the black and white silence of winter.

Thursday, October 17, 2019

I see the way you shine...

His hatred for all was so intense that it should extinguish the very love from which it was conceived. And thus, he ceased to feel. There was nothing further in which to believe that made the prospect of feeling worthwhile. Daily he woke up and cast downtrodden eyes upon the sea and he would say to himself with a hint of regret at his hitherto lack of indifference. All a dim illusion, was it? Surely it was foolish of me to think any of this had meaning. He would then spend hours staring at the sky, wondering how best to pass the time if everything - even the sky itself - were for naught. He arrived at the conclusion that there was no best way to pass the time. The only way to deal with the illusion of time was to endure it, knowing full well, all the while, that one was truly enduring nothing at all. 

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Let's make believe...


If I'm honest, what I liked
were the things we didn't know.
Every morning, every night
I'd be beating down your door,
just to tell you what I'm thinking,
but you already know.
Screw this, I don't wanna let it go.

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

The things we didn't know...



You will write him off. You will not give him his due. You will classify him as a failure. You will say that he was a fool. You will call him mediocre. You will call him a man who had no talents. And all these are mere labels. Nothing will matter to him. But what will matter is that future generations might one day stumble upon his words and get inspired to keep up their struggle. The struggle to chase your dreams. The struggle to never give up despite adversity, despite the odds not being in your favor, despite the mocking laughter of the universe. And he may still be hailed as a hero ... he may be still seen as savior. Perhaps. One day. Perhaps.

Monday, October 7, 2019

Friday, October 4, 2019

Wednesday, October 2, 2019

No need to be saved...

I have lots of things to say now, in case we never meet, concerning the message that was transmitted to me under a tree on a cold autumn moonlit night. It said that nothing ever happens, so don't worry. It's all like a dream. Everything is ecstasy, inside. We just don't know it because of our thinking-minds. But in our true blissful essence we know that everything is alright. Close your eyes, let your hands and nerve-ends drop, stop breathing for 3 seconds, listen to the silence inside the illusion of the world, and you will remember the lesson you forgot, which was taught long ago and not even at all. 


It is all one vast awakened thing. I call it the golden eternity. It is perfect. We were never really born, we will never really die. It has nothing to do with the imaginary idea of a personal self, other selves, many selves everywhere: Self is only an idea, a mortal idea. That which passes into everything is one thing. It's a dream already ended. There's nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be glad about. I know this from staring at mountains months on end. They never show any expression, they are like empty space. Do you think the emptiness of space will ever crumble away? Mountains will crumble, but the emptiness of space, which is the one universal essence of mind, empty and awake, it will never crumble away because it was never born.