Wait for me at the end...

But I can't do this alone,

sometimes I just need a light -

if I call you on the phone,

need you on the other side.

So when your tears roll down your pillow like a river,

I'll be there for you.

When you're screaming, but they only hear you whisper,

I'll be loud for you -

but you gotta be there for me too.

Coming back for more...

Did I actually make it? Did I actually succeed? When I was mapping out the outcome of this month, I would have never imagined that I would have been capable of pulling it off. But now it seems, as I stand at its pinnacle, I find that not only am I where I wanted to be, I am somewhere further. I couldn't have predicted the fallout and challenges facing me, but I am proud of how I handled myself. How I carried on. How I held my tongue. How I made them think that I'd forgotten. I am proud how despite everything, I managed to stay true to who I am. How I was gentle when I could have been forceful. How I loved, when I could have hated. How I smiled when I could have cried.

But now is not the time to rest or allow myself a break. Now is the time to push even further. To build upon the momentum of my choices and propel myself one step closer to the stars. Now is the time to keep trusting my instincts and continue down the rabbit hole towards the dream of dreams. I will continue to be gentle and kind, to be forceful and tactful, to not allow my demons to take hold and steer me in wrong directions. But above all I shall not falter and learn every step of the way. I shall hold my mistakes close to my heart, never forgetting how it felt when I lost it all, and the struggle one has to endure, to get it back.

Another one in the basket...

Save me tonight...

As the final stretch draws near, he is unsure, for what is perhaps the first time, if all the agony of holding it together, was worth it. Perhaps he is too sensitive, maybe it would do everyone some good if he allowed his anger and disappointment towards the people who deserve it roam free, instead of being locked away somewhere inside, gnawing on his soul. He just never expected that his choices would cause such turmoil. Everything around him seems to stand still, as he takes one last breath, and hopes it sustains him until he swims back to the surface. It is getting darker, almost too dark to see, and sharks have started roaming in his vicinity. "One last take" he thinks to himself. "One last try", and then it's either do or die.

Wonder why, wonder what for...

A court side killer king...

Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives. The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets. Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results. Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you. Listen to yourself. To the voices in your head you feared for so long. Find that they are the ones who spoke the truth all along. They are the family and friends you deserve; who do not suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfilment and prosperity, and thus can guide you far better than those damaged by the real world. Dream in spite of what they say, or if nothing else, to spite them. To show them that limitations be damned, and that you aren't afraid to dream a little bigger - a little bigger each passing day.

I cried aloud, I shook my hands...

Well I have been searching all of my days,

all of my days.

Many a road, you know,

I've been walking on,

all of my days

And I've been trying to find

what's been in my mind,

as the days keep turning into night.

Follow my lead...

When you decide to dedicate your life to putting words onto paper that no one will ever read, you are far more isolated than usual, and when you're all alone with your thoughts there is nothing to compromise your creativity with what has already been said and done - for you have said and done so little. And when you find yourself growing accustom to the worlds you create, you have no choice but to try and perfect them as much as you can, which results in even more isolation - creating a cycle of being alone. For indeed, the surest road to transcendency is the lonesome one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts ... simply the path ahead, and a smile on your face.

I'll be your man...

All I ever knew, only you...

Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. This thing that is not a blog, it is small and it is fragile, but it is the only thing in the world that is truly mine. I must never lose it or give it away. I must never let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, reading this somehow helps you. I hope that as words drip from these pages, the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you.

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the now vacant and vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's very nice to meet you all.

Standing in the shade...

Look to your right ... do you see the small opening beneath the trees? That is the path back home. If you choose, you can take it. No one will judge you for it. It is safe, easy, and comfortable. What awaits you is warmth and a comfortable bed to rest your weary body and soul. You do not have to work or fight or do anything else you do not want to. You can simply enjoy the rest of your days, and take solace in the fact, that you had the courage to leave in the first place. Or ... you can keep moving forward. I will not lie - I cannot predict what may become of you. But it will require sweat and blood and study for sure. What I can promise, is that in the very end, if nothing else, you will know strength. You will know what it means to overcome, to bear the weight of the universe so that others do not have to. I swear it. You might just become someone who will make a difference in the world.

The words kaleidoscope inside my head...

Has the world gone mad

or is it me?

All these small things they gather round me,

is it all so very bad?

I can't see

all these small things they gather round me - 

gather round me.

As my memory rests...

No broken hearts...

Nikoli več.

Obljubiš?

If you should learn anything from reading these words, it is one simple truth - we all travel the roads of life alone. As our mother takes her first look upon us, and as we firmly leave this existence, and in spite what we are led to believe by every story ever told - we shall all wake up one day, and realise that even though we laughed and cried and screamed on top of our lungs, despite doing all those things with countless people, we were alone. So life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: "wow! What a ride!"

I need to see your hands up...

He just dropped in from Kansas...

Even though I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates or love at first sight or happily ever after, I was beginning to get used to the notion that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky and somehow, against all odds, the planets aligned, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you in that instant in time. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together, and despite the mistakes you've made, or perhaps because of them, you no longer feel so very alone.

He was running through the forest, trying to escape the reach of the hungry tempest raging above him, and as all seemed lost, he stumbled upon a trail leading him downwards. A cavern so dark and damp his body was in a constant shiver, yet he knew that this was his only choice to avoid certain doom. And it was in that very cave, alone and petrified, that he remember her prophecy. She told him that people shouldn't fall in love with him. That he is a bearer of a curse more sinister than any plague. She showed him visions of how he will take his many loves across the world, to places thought forgotten. How he will kiss them in those secluded spots, so they can never go back without tasting him like blood in their mouths. He will devour them, and when he leaves, as he was always foretold he would, they will finally understand, why storms are named after people.