And the black cat laughed...

He leans back and tilts his head so all he sees are the clouds in the sky. He's looking back inside his head with his eyes wide open. He still doesn't know where he's going; he decided he's not crazy or alien. It's just that he's more like one of those kids they find in remote jungles. A wolf boy. And they've dragged him into this fear riddled state, snarling and spitting and walking around on curled knuckles. He in a state of shock. Flight no longer an option, every single interaction is a fight. Foes and friends are blurred. There is only one way out. To go through. 

As legend has it...

If anything, this year has made up in the quantity of lessons the previous few have lacked. What it means to be a good partner, brother, son, and friend. Things I severely took for granted have come crashing down on me relentlessly these past few months. And perhaps the reason I needed this wake up call is because I was too lenient with my deadly enemy. My fear. Instead of fighting my battles, I chose to retreat from them. Avoiding conflict and not allowing myself the opportunity to grow. But all too obviously, my inability to bend, has caused me to break. My failure to let fear pass over me and through me has sent shockwaves through my body. Ones I'm not sure I can fully recover from. Fear is the mind killer. And mine is almost too fractured to ever repair. 

I'm out of my head...

Someone just told me to leave all my sorrow,

if that is true, I don't know who to be.

Could be these troubles are part of the plan?

Could be I need to just to take a chance?

So I forget what was taken from me,

I will bequeath from the victor your vacancy.

Tell them: these troubles are out of your head.

Tell them: I'm free to use them to clap and dance.