Leave it all in my head...

In that moment, I felt the canvas of my life lift away from my head, walls flying off me, and a pressure I've never put into words hisses somewhere at the back of my mind as the size of the universe assembles itself in my mind. If I close my eyes, I can see it, the endlessness beyond my ears, and knowing I'm only in a corner of that vastness doesn't make me feel tiny. It is amazing that, though I am small and so insignificant, even I can appreciate the scale of life. And from this perch in my mind, for this moment at least, it seems unimportant whether I will go somewhere, anywhere, when it's all over.

Tell me who's to blame...

All of my favorite stories,

end in some kind of catastrophe,

but I don't need someone to save me,

because this thing that is not a blog and I will never die.

It's such a fucked situation,

petal in the pavement,

just as long as he keeps getting it right,

heartbreak won't bite,

here in paradise.

I hear her in the silence...

Tomorrow is coming faster than expected, as if the future were never somewhere else, but all along part of the fabric of my every present, merely untwining itself again and again into a new distinction that could never truly be new. So I start now to move on not forgetting, but taking the memories with me in my heart and in ink. It's the only way I can somehow hold onto them. Or at least slow down enough every other day to remind myself that I am still here. Somehow the leaf has fallen and it's time for a new one to grow before I let my life live me to death.