A perfect match, perfect somehow...

As another months passes by, I feel as if the march has only begun. There is still so much more I need to do, need to achieve, need to become. I try to navigate my circumstances with as much grace as I can mutter up, yet even I am prone to falter beneath my lesser instincts. My willpower fades and I find solace in knowing that I am not alone - you are with me, whether I can see you or not. You are my escape, and as much as I'd like to believe I can make it all on my own, deep down I have no issue admitting that without you I am lost. Without you, I am no one of importance, no one you'd remember, no one you'd love.

There is a difference between saying goodbye and letting go. Goodbye is not permanent. You can meet years later as old friends and share what happened in your life. You can smile and laugh about all the nonsense that you both went through, the perils you faced, the joys you had. However, letting go is being okay with never seeing this person ever again, being okay with never knowing how their life turned out, being okay with fifty or more years of silence, being okay with running into that person at a grocery store and having them not acknowledge your presence. This is the part of life that doesn't sit well with him and never will. It tears his heart to pieces, robs him of gratitude, drains him of anything positive and eats at the faith that holds on.