He has never felt like this before. His guts are burning and he is almost at his wits end. He cannot control the fire, and as he is about to explode, his entire life flashes before his eyes. While most images dissipate as quickly as they manifest, one sticks out like a falling star. This is the first year he won't be by her side on the day she would have gained another year. It was a tradition he held dear, and now that it was taken from him, it is hard to maintain his anger towards the one who kept him away. He has made a mistake. A colossal one at that. Instead of thinking of himself, he thought of all of them, leaving himself in the gutter with no escape. And now it's getting dark - too dark to see.
