It has finally come. The full wave of emotions that subsided in order for me to even survive recent hardships. I can feel the cracks in the wall and water flowing through. I try to patch up the leaks, but as I've learned band-aids can't fix bullet holes, and soon a hurricane shall envelop me. I cannot imagine how I will react or how I'll be able to stand, yet as of now all I'm hoping for is the grace to not succumb to every lesser instinct that takes hold of my soul. I can survive, because I've survived worse, and despite everything, there was a reason this happened, perhaps deep down I even wanted it to, but that does not change the fact that losing you hurts - not because I lost a partner, more so because I lost a friend.
The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward. Because some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.
