I had to let you through the door...

I miss what I once thought we could be.

It happened like I always knew it would. I have reached a point where the path walked seems far enough away that I can safely start charting a different course. No part of me thinks it was a mistake to go our separate ways, yet there are days when I remember something, and that memory leads me down the rabbit hole of us, and while the end was quite the whirlwind, I think of you with nothing but glee in my heart. You were one of the best things that's ever happened to me, and even though there wasn't anything we could do to prevent our downfall, I will forever wonder how I was able to let go of you so soon. Perhaps it's not about the passing of time, but more about the intensity of it - how painful it is as it rushes through you, as it knocks you off your feet, and reminds you that despite everything, life is never life at all.

Blame it on the night...

It seems that he is not immune to the struggles that make him human. As much as he'd like to believe that he is a fortress of strength and self-sufficiency, it seems that even he can get lonely sometimes. Perhaps it is because everything is changing again, and he urns to grasp at something that would be beside him no matter what. His to hold in his arms, his to kiss, his to whisk away towards s sunset halfway around the world. The tectonic plates shift once more, and as he hangs in balance, he tries to imagine what the next few months shall look like. Will he find greater meaning in the life left behind or a bigger sense of the one past the horizon? The future unwinds and things become clearer, yet he can't shake the feeling that maybe he's missing out on something. Missing out on something big.

Hit me harder...

Pull me closer...

I'm not exactly sure what happened to me. I thought this constant state of peace and bliss would pass by now. I cannot possibly phantom that this will become my new normal. There was always such a tempest in my heart, making me tremble and cower at every turn, that I've come to accept that it will always be by my side, making life a little more interesting. But what I've learned in recent months, is that I don't need all that thunder and rain to feel like my life is moving somewhere.

This serene sense of self has become my new addiction. It allows me to be more attune to who I am, with a greater understanding of what I want, and what I'm willing to give up in order to get it. For the first time in my life, I wish that I wouldn't change, that I would stay as strong and self-aware as am I in this very moment. I wish that I would stay this way forever, that no amount of pain or grief would unhinge me. I wish that whatever life might throw my way, wouldn't cause me to become cynical - with edges so sharp I could take an eye out. I wish that I'd be able to always be gentle, to always be kind. To always reach further than I should. To always dream bigger that anyone expects.

I'm heavy into everything...

You're cold and hot.

You burn out like a match.

Keep a slip knot and the strings you attach.

You think it's easy, but that's a lie,

the only reason that you're good at goodbye is

every boy you ever met was too easy to forget.

No inhibition, no sin...

How deep is your love?

As I look around and my life seems completely different from what I thought it would be, I am stricken with an indescribable sense of calm and serenity. I guess I've accepted that our journey isn't about the expected and planned. What really makes it worth the struggle and march, is the crossroads that lead you to forests unknown and so dark you can barely see. As you cut your way through the thick stream of leaves and branches, you develop muscle and strength previously thought unattainable. You find yourself thinking thoughts that would otherwise paralyse you, yet now, because of the path overcome, feel as mundane as the breeze on your cheeks. I never imagined I would be able to stand so tall, with so much pride, and so much willpower to move on - to better things, to greater things, perhaps even to everything I've ever dreamt of.

Getting good at goodbye...

Sleeping on my own...

I needed time to make sure I was coming back for the right reasons. Every time I think I might stop, that it's time for something new, perhaps even something better, I come to the conclusion that in this instance, and probably in this instance alone, there is nothing that could replace words written, just so they can be forgotten in the same breath. My writings on this wall are surely so quiet that not even animals can hear them whistle, yet I am still standing, taller and stronger than ever, and I'm not going anywhere - not anywhere at all.

He truly believes that some of us were not meant for this world. We were born with an imagination that can exceed any barrier and with an unquenchable thirst to achieve something that has yet to be grasped, beyond common comprehension and belief. We shatter convention and we retreat into our mind, which allows us to shape and form bonds across space and time, making us feel connected and understood. It is why we create worlds of our own - with rules applicable to our narratives and an unhinged grasp of right and wrong. It is in such surroundings that we come alive, and despite being alone or perhaps because of it, our existence seems like such a magnificent thing.