Pull me closer...

I'm not exactly sure what happened to me. I thought this constant state of peace and bliss would pass by now. I cannot possibly phantom that this will become my new normal. There was always such a tempest in my heart, making me tremble and cower at every turn, that I've come to accept that it will always be by my side, making life a little more interesting. But what I've learned in recent months, is that I don't need all that thunder and rain to feel like my life is moving somewhere.

This serene sense of self has become my new addiction. It allows me to be more attune to who I am, with a greater understanding of what I want, and what I'm willing to give up in order to get it. For the first time in my life, I wish that I wouldn't change, that I would stay as strong and self-aware as am I in this very moment. I wish that I would stay this way forever, that no amount of pain or grief would unhinge me. I wish that whatever life might throw my way, wouldn't cause me to become cynical - with edges so sharp I could take an eye out. I wish that I'd be able to always be gentle, to always be kind. To always reach further than I should. To always dream bigger that anyone expects.