I swear I lived...

Hope when you take that jump,

you don't feel the fall.

Hope when the water rises,

you built a wall.

Hope when the crowd screams out,

it's screaming your name.

Hope if everybody runs,

you choose to stay.

Don't fear the fall...

The heartbeat inside of me...

What I've learned is that the most difficult thing one can imagine, is trying to rebuild yourself, piece by piece, with no instruction book, and no clue as to where all the important bits are supposed to go. For the death of a dream can in fact serve as the vehicle that endows it with new form, with reinvigorated substance, a fresh flow of ideas, and splendidly revitalised colour. In short, the power of a certain kind of dream is such that death need not indicate finality at all but rather signify a metaphysical and metaphorical leap forward - like a bridge of silver wings stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare to the jewelled vision of a life started anew.

Falling on my knees...

A large drop of sun lingered on the horizon and then dripped over and was gone, and the sky was brilliant over the spot where it had vanished, and a torn cloud, like a bloody rag, hung over the spot of its departure. Dusk crept over the sky from the eastern horizon, and darkness crept over the land from the east. Soon it got darker, a grapy dark over tangerine groves and long melon fields; the sun the colour of pressed grapes, slashed with burgundy red, the fields the colour of love and undiscovered mysteries. The pale stars were sliding into their places. The whispering of the leaves was almost hushed. All about them was still and shadowy and sweet. It was that wonderful moment when, for lack of a visible horizon, the not yet darkened world seems infinitely greater - a moment when anything can happen, anything he believed in.

No more monsters, I can breathe again...

I wish you farewell...

He wondered if this, more than guilt, was what had been holding him back. It wasn't that he was punishing himself as much as it was that he didn't really want anything or anyone anymore. But was that true? Did he really not want anything? What did he want to do? What did he want, period. A simple question that demanded far more than meets the eye. So as he allowed himself time to find the answer, his heart slowly started to shatter, for it started dawning on him, that the boy that he keeps writing about - the one he shares with the world? That boy doesn't really exist, does he?

The doors of the darkest room one had ever seen were opened and everyone was asked to collect the pieces of themselves that they have lost with pain and agony during all these years on the climb. Everyone rushed in and started searching for the pieces that would complete them but all of a sudden they saw the light in the room fading away, they turned around and saw the doors closing back again. They screamed and tried to run back but all of a sudden there were fences all around them, their voices blurred out, and they helplessly watched, petrified, as all hope of escape was lost. Their final thought was knowing that they destroyed themselves completely in the quest for the pieces they had lost before.

All the truth I will tell...

Because I can make it on my own,

and I don't need you, 

I found a strength I've never known.

I'll bring thunder, I'll bring rain -

when I'm finished, 

everyone will know my name.

I'm going to make it anyway...

Fighting for myself...

I am tepid to start my life again, for there are so many uncertainties, and it would be an awful shame to stumble now. After so much growth and aspirations, I feel as if there is more at stake than ever. But why then am I not more anxious? I'm in this state of calm, or is it apathy? Who knows anymore. I wonder how things will turn out, if I'll be okay and if perhaps I'll find a way to be even more than that - to once again transcend against all odds, against all expectations. I find that being alone helps with my anxiety. That contemplating and thinking about my future is just as important as actually living it. Time spent preparing is not time wasted. Time spent planning is time well spent. Or at least that's what I'd like to believe - it gives my current present more perspective. More balance. It makes me appreciate being alone, because one day, perhaps one day soon, I won't be anymore. So I am left praying that the universe has not abandoned me. That I am still on the right path. That she is watching over me, and that she has a plan.

You brought the flames...

I think that love is stronger than habits or circumstances. I think it is possible to keep yourself for someone for a long time, and still remember why you were waiting when they come at last. Patience will pay off, and those who wait, usually do so in earnest. And now that the wait is finally over, all those moments thought of as lost when experienced in the present, feel as the fallen leaves of autumn. Now, if I could, I would enter your sleep, and guard you there, and slay the thing that hounds you, as I would if it had the courage to face me in fair daylight. Now, if I could, I would climb mountains, and cross rivers, and gaze at the soon if need be, for at the end of all those thing, there would be you. After all this time, who would have ever thought that the answer would be so simple. Who would have thought, that the answer would be you.

Walking down the isle...

As forever before, he has aimed high, sometimes even so high he was in danger of missing the target. Yet what he has learned is a very simple truth - what really matters is that you will love him, that you will respect him, that you will honour him, that you will be absolutely true to him, that you will give him the freedom of expression and let him fly in the development of his own talents. You are certainly not expected to be perfect, but if you are kind and thoughtful, if you know how to work and earn a living, if you are honest and full of faith, the chances are he will not go wrong, that he will be immensely happy - that he will be immensely happy with you.

Today has been a long time coming. It was of course inevitable. Even though our lives are on completely different paths, I sometimes wonder what it's like to walk in your shoes. What it means to hold the weight of social pressures on your shoulders, and for us both. Because the way my life turned out, I was able to escape many of the battles you are forced to wage, and I sometimes ponder if that makes me lucky or angry. Life is nothing without the wars it ignites, and a king can never be crowned without defeating his enemies. As you prepare, on your first day and your last day, to raise your sword and march forward, know that while I cannot share in your endeavour, I shall stand by your side - always as a friend, always as a brother.

I'll win it back...

So tell me now,

when every star falls from the sky,

and every last heart in the world breaks.

Oh hold me now,

when every ship is going down.

I don't fear nothing when I hear you say -

it's gonna be okay.

Love me more just a little...

It's going to be okay...

Found myself in the middle...

As he has noticed many years ago, July is a funny month, for it stands firm as a middle checkpoint of the year that is passing, like when the clock turns midday, slowly tipping the balance to the other side. The days which have gone before, are now only a reminder of the hope they brought with spring, and those that have still yet to come, a warning that all things must end. It is a motionless month, and hot as hell. And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, he had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again and that soon the life he grew accustomed to, shall shift, and quietly, everything will be different.

When every ship is going down...

I am sitting here, in my new home, trying to figure out how I got here. My mind wanders to what feels like the beginning - me looking onward, towards an uncertain future, given shape only by my tenacity to never give up. Next I pass by the relentlessly steep road which led me across oceans and mountains and taught me that there is always something behind the peak. Finally, I witness myself making a pledge; a promise that despite what it may seem, despite the odds and what people say, this shall not go down as a failure. This will not be a story of compromise and regret. But rather a tale of victory over ones demons and fears. A tale of success in the face of adversity and opponents tearing you down. A tale heard and told countless times before. A tale of a boy who looks out the window and dreams of horizons yet unexplored.