I am tepid to start my life again, for there are so many uncertainties, and it would be an awful shame to stumble now. After so much growth and aspirations, I feel as if there is more at stake than ever. But why then am I not more anxious? I'm in this state of calm, or is it apathy? Who knows anymore. I wonder how things will turn out, if I'll be okay and if perhaps I'll find a way to be even more than that - to once again transcend against all odds, against all expectations. I find that being alone helps with my anxiety. That contemplating and thinking about my future is just as important as actually living it. Time spent preparing is not time wasted. Time spent planning is time well spent. Or at least that's what I'd like to believe - it gives my current present more perspective. More balance. It makes me appreciate being alone, because one day, perhaps one day soon, I won't be anymore. So I am left praying that the universe has not abandoned me. That I am still on the right path. That she is watching over me, and that she has a plan.
