Heaven only knows...

The autumn leaves blew over the moonlit pavement in such a way as to make the boy who was moving there seem fixed to a sliding walk, letting the motion of the wind and the leaves carry him forward. The trees overhead made a great sound of letting down their dry rain.

It was a very ordinary day, the day I realized that my becoming is my life and my home and that I don't have to do anything but trust the process, trust my story and enjoy the journey. It doesn't really matter who I've become by the finish line, the important things are the changes from this morning to when I fall asleep again, and how they happened, and who they happened with. An hour watching the stars, a coffee in the morning with someone beautiful, intelligent conversations while sharing the last cigarette - oh how I miss smoking! Taking trains to nowhere, walking hand in hand through foreign cities with someone you love. Oceans and cheesy quotes. It was all very ordinary until my identity appeared, until my body and mind became one being. The day I saw summer dissolve into autumn and learned how to turn my daily struggles into the most extraordinary moments. Moments worth writing about. For so long I let my life slip through my fingers, like water. I'm holding on to it now, and I'm not letting go.