He realized that even if no one ever found him, and even if he lived out the rest of his life here, always missing, forever a missing person to other people, he could never be missing to himself, he could never delete his own history, and he would always know exactly where he was and where he had been and he would never wake up not being who he was and it didn't matter how much or how little he thought he understood the mess of himself, because he would never, no matter what he did, be missing to himself and that was what he had wanted all this time, to go fully missing.
