It makes me feel alone...

It's been so long now, since I held this secret. It burns inside me, and I feel like I am carrying something important, something that makes me who I am and different from everybody else. I take it with me everywhere, and there is never a moment when I'm not aware of it. It's like I'm totally awake and I feel every nerve ending in my body. Sometimes my skin almost hurts from the force of it, that's how strong it was. Like my whole body is buzzing or something. I feel almost, I don't know, noble, like a medieval knight or something, carrying this secret around with me.

He needed challenges in his life, needed to be occupied. Without walls to climb or windmills to attack he was the type of person who became depressed. He knew this. The feeling lived inside him somewhere - probably nestled close to his solar plexus. Yes, it seemed like that was the case. He felt it right in his chest. So, to escape dwelling on his anxieties - which he was prone to do - he lived in a state of perpetual movement. If he slowed down or was obstructed, even for a moment, he would suffer a very unfortunate fate, and then all would be lost.