Now I understand the wins in recent years. It was all shaping up to this. One single downfall would be far too boring. Why lose only something, when you can lose everything? All at once. I wonder if I ever really wanted to be happy. Or was I just playing pretend? Maybe all I ever need was myself. Not the job title, the love story or a future of possibility. I think my prime mistake was succumbing to the pressures of finding something outside of my beating heart. I remember being so content. But now I stand here. The odds so stacked and the story of ruin so perfectly aligned, that I can already see what happens a mile away. Soon. Oh so very soon.
