And I need some relief...

My peak? Did I even have one? Sometimes it feels like I hardly had had anything you could call a life. A few ripples. some rises and falls. But that's it. Almost nothing. Nothing born of nothing. I'd loved and been loved, but that is something quiet, personal. Nothing you can really show. I look around and I see a singularly plain, featureless landscape. Almost feels like the video games I play. A surrogate avatar crunching blindly through a labyrinth of dotted lines. The only certainty was my death.

The old Karr, the boy of the big laugh and the easy ways, literally shed himself, a pile of skin and soul on the floor, and stepped this new, brittle, sharp, a razor-wire knot daring to be unlooped. He wonders who would be up to the job of unravelling him. Even if with thick, numb, nervous fingers. Country fingers. Flyover fingers untrained in the intricate, dangerous work of solving Karr. When he'd hold up the bloody stumps, you'd sigh and turn to your secret mental notebooks on which you tallied all his deficiencies, forever noting disappointments, frailties, shortcomings. And it was quite a hefty book indeed.