It's breaking his heart...

His whole life, the gnaw of anxiety has made people opaque to him. No matter how well he knows someone, no matter how deeply he loves, no matter the logical patterns, no matter how many allowances he knows someone might make for him, that bone-deep fear of rejection has always made it impossible for him to see any of it. It frosts over the glass. He never had anyone to begin with, then he had someone and she died. And every since he let it be unsurprising that nobody would want to have him around or truly trust that anyone would stick with him even as he's yelling at them to go away.