I have always believed in karma. A force that evens the score. Levels the playing field. My logic was prety simple. If you sacrifice enough, if you don't "spend" your karma, it piles up. And one day it can burst all out on something you really wanted. But what happens when the explosion of karma never occurs?
Perhaps it is still gathering up, and we can never actually chose when to "spend" it. But what scares me the most is something entirely different. What if it wasn' there in the first place? Then all the work, urning, waiting and sacrifice had been for nothing.
It has to be there... It simply must... Or else I am forever lost. Lost between playing fields. No one else can even the score for me now... Too much has been taken for granted, too much denied happiness, too much endured misery, too many people banished...
Tell me there is a logic out there, leading me to better prepare, for the day that something really special might come...
