Tragedies happen. We make mistakes. Some are small, others define us for a lifetime. But what are you going to do about it? Quit? I realise now that when your heart breaks, when you do something you know you'll regret, you've got to fight like hell to make sure that even after everything you're still breathing. Because the truth is, you are, and the pain you feel, well that's life. The shame and fear are there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better and believe me, that something is worth fighting for.
I try to close my eyes and convince myself that this is where I want to be, that this is who I want to be. Sometimes I almost succeed. I've changed so much lately. It feels like every single day I wake up a different person. In the past, no matter how bad it got, I always knew in the back of my mind that things would get better. Now for the first time in my life, I don't see a way out. Mistake after mistake, has caused me to lose faith and I don't really have anything left to believe in anymore. Perhaps it is finally time to accept the unacceptable. Perhaps at long last, I can be at peace...
