Psychosis 1.33
It's happening exactly as I predicted, and I can't even pretend I have the power to stop it, to stop myself. I am repeating old patterns, and I guess the only logical conclusion is that I am indeed insane, because I still hope for different results. I can feel myself slipping, I can taste the darkness and while I swore I'd never go back to black, it seems life has other plans. I am in owe how even after all this time, I'm still trapped in this god forsaken cycle of self-sabotage and destruction. I try to place blame on circumstances and all of you who left, but as it turns out, the blame lies with me alone. I am the common denominator, the common thread in all of our stories that ended so abruptly, and accompanied with such inherent sadness. The curse has yet to be lifted, so I am left with what I started with - myself. I need not their praise, nor their compassion. I needn't crave the tiniest portions of their attention, for I have something they have lost long ago. I have my dreams, my aspirations, and my everlasting desire to make a difference - to touch by being touched, to inspire by being inspired and to love endlessly by being loved eternally.
