Walking down a one way street...

I'll be loving angels instead.

I only just realised something yesterday. While this whole process of self discovery and this journey towards my higher self has been utterly gratifying, there have been pieces of my being I wish I never lost. I see a different person in the mirror, and sometimes I shed tears for the boy I once knew. The boy who was an impenetrable fortress of ambition and drive, of dreams and goals. I'm not sure when exactly things started to crumble, but it is impossible to deny that I am now one of those people who crave love, to receive it, and give it in turn. The mighty have fallen for sure, and while I had never imagined I'd be saying all of this, the truth is futile to ignore. My salvation is clearly evident - I must choose to be alone, just to make sure I still can. I have actively sabotaged recent chances and while I may one day regret passing on the opportunities for stable relationships, I'm certain that in the end, I shall be stronger for it. I don't need anyone but myself, that's what she told me, that's what I was raised to believe. And if I will be broken, if I will find that one person who'll shatter every single stone in every single instance of my wall, then that person deserves credit when credit is due. Until then, I shall come here, and share my inherent sadness with all of you, and for the briefest of moments, the world won't be such a lonely place.

He is a lost wanderer - a soul begging for release from the infernal chains that bind it to its cage. For he was born a dreamer in a world that destroys those who dare to reach beyond the superficial, the norm, the life we're forced to lead. His heart has been broken, and it has been restored, and so it continues in an endless spiral of happiness and an unbearable feeling of failure. There is no going back and they will never love him again, and that truth scares him to his core. Those he help rise to the sky, have flown away without thought of helping him when he needed them most. He is left stranded and without the proper means to survive. As it was foretold, he is gasping for air as his surroundings slowly turn into a bog of mist and plasma. He is the broken hearted and the endlessly over-dramatic boy you were all warned about. He is the biggest mistake you will ever make, yet in the same breath, the most beautiful thing you were ever part of. He is both the one that got away, and the one who wishes, he'd never let you leave.