Lights that lead the way are blinding...

Life has caught up with me, and this time there's no more alternatives. I have reached a point when it's time to pay for the mistakes that led me to this very moment. Literally. Sometimes I wish I'd be one of those people who would - if given the chance - unchoose some of their choices, yet as it turns out I will always be the boy who stubbornly believes, believes with all his heart that he is exactly where he's supposed to be. There is no regret in my eyes, for I have lived the stories I wanted, and now as I write them down, I am enveloped with a new sense of understanding for why circumstances unfolded in the ways they did. I understand why I had to leave, and why it was important for me to come back. I understand why you walked away, why you couldn't be my friend, and how it was possible that you never really loved me in the first place. I understand why you decided not to give me another chance, why you threw me out of the car when I needed you to take the wheel. I understand. I truly do. And while your truths might be completely different than mine, and rightfully so, I am in awe how she correctly predicted every step of my journey. If I survive this, the improbable with the impossible, I shall be able to endure anything. This is the moment I need to prove to everyone that I've grown enough to handle these hardships with grace and dignity - with a grin on my face and the faintest of tears in my eyes - with resolve in my step and humility in my heart.