Somehow I went astray...

The life he leads is not unique. It is not of added value or in anyway meant to be significant. Because as reality crumbles every dream he has ever dreamt, he slowly has to start abiding by the laws of averageness. He no longer looks in the mirror and sees someone who wants to move mountains, all he bares witness to is a shell of a dreamer - a boy who was promised the moon, yet somehow couldn't make it past the clouds. He has failed at everything he has ever tried, and now he is left with no other choice but to accept that, above all else, he is ordinary. He is the person you pass on the streets everyday. Someone who cannot be found, for he is no longer an individual, but one of them, just an insignificant part of a large sum. He is not brave, he is not hopeful. All he remains is content that his life shall pass and with it the memory of a boy who shared with you his soul, with the sole purpose of feeling connected, and perhaps, not so very alone. 

I miss the life I never got to live. I miss the people I would hug, and those that would hug me back. I miss kissing you. I miss simply being us, laying in the grass, trying to figure out what the hell we're doing here. I miss the smell of rotting leaves, and how they sway as a light breeze keeps us from falling asleep. I miss how you used to make me feel like I could do anything or be anyone. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've realised I have quite a few regrets, and the road I have embarked upon holds little promise of salvation. I have to pay my dues and do so with my head held as high as possible, because I am afraid that if I don't pretend everything is fine, I'll break right here and now, for everyone to see. I miss the way my fantasy could conjure practically anything, and that within these imagined worlds I could find peace and the serenity of knowing that one day I will do good in this life. I miss who I was, but most of all, I miss who I had the potential to be.