Big boys cry when their heart is breaking.
I find no happiness in the addictions I sometimes allow to take hold of my life. It is not something that brings me joy or a sense of calm. It is a wary attempt to escape from a tortured past, from a sense of being alone and a fear of some magical forthcoming gloom, that can only be controlled by running here, day after day, to this place I created with all of your help, like it was a bottle of whiskey. So I crawl inside all these words, right to its core, for it is a world that I have complete control over. Something I can tangibly relate to and call my own. Now, as it slowly begins to shape into a form I never imagined I could sustain, I realise that truly, without a doubt, this thing that is not a blog, is my one true love - the thing that keeps me afloat, the safe-heaven I couldn't live without.