The things I hide from you...

I almost have no words for the year that is about to come to an end. Never have I felt as much, done as much, gained as much or lost as much. I've not only survived, but I prospered. I've become more attune to myself, and I have a sense that I am one step closer to the dreams I dream - still, to this very day. Torment and agonizing developments left me scarred, yet with a new found determination to reach even higher. For the past four years, ever since I embarked on the true journey of self-discovery, I felt this immense amount of pressure to validate myself as an individual who is capable of receiving love and giving it in return. Now as I stand ready to face whatever might come next, I am calm for I know that when love might lurk its head again, I'll be ready. Until then I push onward, because I understand that my fantasises won't wait for me forever, and if I don't transcend now, I could lose my chance. I have finally found that part of me again that most pity and find unphantomable, but for me it represents my greatest asset - my ability to be self-sufficient. I don't need anybody, and it's not sad or demented. As a writer, it is a curse I gladly bare, for it allows me to create, to find meaning in the meaningless, and share my story with you. And that has always been enough for me.