Someone told me to leave all my sorrow...

It's astonishing how I manage to stubbornly progress towards a supposedly higher state of being, while my entire world is on the brink of crashing around me. I guess it wouldn't be any fun if it came easy, and it wouldn't mean as much either. Change is only worth it, when one has to endure to achieve it, otherwise everyone would be able to claim evolution where there in fact wasn't any. Change is for the brave and young at heart. It requires nothing else but the ability to see your reflection in the mirror, and the realisation that at any given moment, the reflection isn't real.

I have to de-program myself from myself. Somehow find my way out of the labyrinth of lies and deception I have created with this damaged psyche. I must reinvent my rituals of purification. I am so full of the vagrant pollution of others that it is time to detox. Not only from my addictions, but also needy leeches who looked to swab me with their sores - to detox from my own needy lechery. I have to locate the centre wound and cauterise. Stitch it up and wait for it to heal. To undo the original sin, the origin of my sickness - to finally learn to replace my wants, hurt, anger, sorrow, and loss, with power, healing, wisdom, fulfilment and satisfaction. To find myself once more.