And there you are ... it's been so long I thought I'd never see you again. Yet here you are, standing in front of me, as strong as you've ever been, reminding me that despite how much I think I've grown, despite how far I've come, my primal sadness is such an inherent part of me, that while it may lay dormant, it shall surely never be vanquished. Objectively, things are not as bad as they seem, yet the stakes are so high that even the smallest misstep knocks me to the ground. I am on the precipice of the rest of my life - my actions matter. My decisions have consequences. If I fail now, I can't brush it off as young foolishness or as just another lesson learned. A failure now is detrimental and can cause rifts that span for years to come. A failure now means everything I've ever wished for, everything I've hoped for can vanish into thin air - just like that.
