You will never know...

He tries to be brave, for that is the only way he shall one day be able to rise above the fray. This is how he attempts to explain what gives him the strength to do what he does; when that thunderbolt of an idea first hit him and inspired him to row across oceans, it filled him with a sense of purpose so strong that it overcame all his fears. Even when boredom, frustration, fatigue or despair threatened to overwhelm him, it was that powerful sense of purpose that kept him going. Now, finally, the moments of silence are gone. He ran from them into the rush of unimportant things, so filled is the quiet with the painful whispers of all that goes unspoken. Busy-ness is his drug of choice, numbing his mind just enough to keep him from dwelling on all that he fears he cannot change. A compilation of coping mechanisms - he has become his fatigue. Unwilling or unable to cut himself free, he is dragged in its wake all too quickly toward his end.