His heart is giving out...

This much I do know - I'm exhausted by the cumulative consequences of a lifetime of hasty choices and chaotic passions that have led me towards numerous triumphs, but also countless defeats. And I have started to wonder if I can accomplish any of the things I hope for, without destroying myself in the process. I ask myself often if it's time for me to quit. If my time has simply passed and I have now officially not become the man I wanted to be. I am at a point where the exhaustion of getting to the goal has somehow made me forget the elation effect of trying to achieve it. And because that's the case, I fear that I will forfeit both, crash into the ground and deep within my settled grave.