My saviour's love is real...

Here we are, and here I go. It's stranger than I thought, because I keep reading what I am supposed to feel, and people keep telling me how they felt and none of those things seem to equate my state of being. I am neither here, nor there. I am not sad or regretful, anxious or frightful, nor feel proud or accomplished. I look around the life I have built, fantasise about how I will one day rule the world, then put things in the washer and make coffee I don't drink but my lover does. I take solace in what has become a Sunday morning ritual of sorts, and I don't think I would mind, if I had to do this forever. I wouldn't mind at all.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm quite alright. I am in awe actually, because I finally understand what a difference a decade can make. Unimaginable changes with paths unknown before. That makes me hopeful. Not that anything drastic has to change, but the thought that it can, as it did in the past, electrifies me. So come say hi, stay a little. Reminisce about what was, and make a toast for everything that could yet be. Without a doubt, I am still afraid of dying, to be forgotten and washed away into the abyss. The thought of not existing, sometimes makes me weep - just in private though. I would never admit that out loud. So as I inch ever closer to whatever awaits beyond the curtain, I'll remember to keep breathing and with all my might, try to hold on to the love that set me free.