I think it's gonna be a long, long time...

Maybe a slow start isn't the worst thing in the world. Usually I would go in head first, guns blazing and be utterly exhausted before I even reach the first milestone. Perhaps I don't have to hurry this time around. What if this year I was completely at ease, and not let the mundane shake me up. Will I get bored? Will I succumb to my lesser instincts? 

He needed to be willing to take risks. He needed to commit himself to going with his first instincts. That first instinct is the product of the subconscious brain, and he had honed his subconscious perception over thousands of practice shots to trust himself. Even if it turns out wrong, the natural growth of his inner life will gradually, over time, lead him to other insights. He must allow verdicts their own quiet untroubled development which like all progress must come from deep within and cannot be forced or accelerated. To let every impression and the germ of every feeling come to completion inside, in the dark, in the unsayable, the unconscious, in what is unattainable to one’s own intellect, and to wait with deep humility and patience for the hour when a new clarity is delivered: that alone is to live, in the understanding and in one’s own mortality.