I only pray when I need a favor...

"I'm sorry, I didn’t mean it ... I'm sorry, okay?" He says, his tone softening into despair. He knows he is probably overreacting and on the verge of berating himself. It's not often he allows himself to lose control, and he'll be damned if he does it anytime time soon, at least not again for a long time. But his epiphany came too late of course. He tried to redeem himself by becoming someone else entirely but he still cannot completely trust the change, even after all these years. Sometimes he pushes just to see what will happen. Nothing ever does.

And I remember just standing there in the fading afternoon light, realising at twenty that I was already staring into my past - that it had a meaning that would always define me. A journey interrupted. A boy thrust into the unknown, chasing a fate not even he could fully imagine. I remember this being one of my first moments nearing adulthood, when I was truly able to grasp how powerful memory was - or at least it was the first time it hurt the most. And there was nothing I could do about the pain of the past - it just settled over me, something to stay with me forever onward.