The reality of my life has become an unsettling arabesque puzzle and I still want to add more filigree embroidery to it, so I might, some day, expect to stray from the point of recognition, lose the final thread, be expelled to the edge of delusion and forced to dance on the brim of chaos. If anything, my capacity for self-delusion is apparently infinite so how am I ever meant to know, except by existing in a state of absolute pessimism, that once again I am fooling myself? No, no. This is it. I can really feel it this time. It's all going to work out exactly as I imagine.
