Go where you don't belong...

He speaks of the power of trying, because he has fallen and struggled to stand. He speaks of generosity because he battles selfishness. He speaks of joy because he has known sorrow. He speaks of faith because he almost lost his, and know what it is to be broken, in need of redemption. He speaks of thanks because he is grateful for the totality of this life. Not just the easy parts. And it seems it won't be getting easier. Not at all. Not one bit. 

And so it spins...

A spark in the dark...

I have a hunch the future is darker than I could ever imagine and there is less reason for hope than I am able to see. It makes me grateful there is only so much I can see, and I am left mostly with questions. Grateful, also, that hope is not a reasonable thing. Though I have seen my share of darkness, I am spared perceiving much of it. And here is why I hope beyond a reasonable doubt: I think that as the darkness grows, it makes the dim lights that are left seem brighter. And the darker it gets, the brighter the light appears, until it is so luminous, eventually, even falling shadows are filled with it.

All you need to say is hi...

I knеw you, 

all your blues like a mood ring changing colors.

You did too, 

therе were times we could fight like brothers.

I watched you drive around the bend,

for what I thought,

would be the last time I saw my friend.

The daze of the blades of the grass in summer...

I guess it hadn't yet dawned on us that life is unpredictable, that one day, one of us could suddenly cease to exist and what then? What would be the joy in having left so much unsaid? With what memories would we fill the empty silence?

Love is giving, love is learning, love is willing to receive love and love in return, love is not only your bloodline, but love is also everywhere. Love is what you make of it, whether it’s the birds singing you a personal melody or the waves in the ocean washing away the hate and turning it into unconditional, endless love. Love is the people who would never think of giving up on you. Love is the people who put your broken pieces back together. Love is when the storm comes— and the wind isn’t too friendly, but it’s here for a purpose as it blows the branches on the trees.

Standing there in the light of the window...

Drifting in and out of memories...

Man, it's been a while...

There were never any limitations to his imagination. Visualization served him well. In his mind’s eye, he always saw a better life. Imagination, visualizing, and dreaming big, combined with hard work, determination, and faith, are what got him where he wanted to go, and they can do the same for you.

There are some beliefs I currently believe, that are in my way. I believe so much in them, and I don't really understand why. And when I believe something, I offer a vibration about it, and I keep recreating it in my mind. Like a fantasy that doesn't want to die down. So, something that happened a long time ago, I keep renewing my membership to. I keep bringing it forwards. And so, then the memory, which could be very slight or non-existent at this point, is really active and alive, because I talked about it today. And I talked about it yesterday. And I talked about it the day before, even if it had happened so long ago.

The mountain is you...

I'm sorry I'm a piece of shit,

I know I'm selfish,

and I have to live with it.

Sometimes, I wish I don't exist,

please tell me why,

why am I like this?

Doomsday alert...

I try hard, but I don't succeed. So I try harder, and harder. But I still just don't succeed, I give it a try once more; only realising it's never going to work out the way I want it to. But then again, I remember; I've tried so much. I've tried to please, I've tried to love and I've tried to not care as much. I think about the reason it would be worth to keep going. I try so hard, what's the point. No one accepts me for who I am, no one sees me for who I am, no one takes the time to ask how I feel, no one takes the time to bother. But then there's you. You try, and try. And you just give up hope, because it's just so much easier.

Peace in the back of my mind...

Not exactly sure where I'm going,

but I'm definitely on my way.  

How he misses wandering around with old souls, aimlessly moving from one place to another. How he misses all his dreams and his goals, and how he's lost himself to find another. Seems like a playful game of hide and seek, but that's how he'll forever play this life - loving and living the truth that he seeks, until embraced he finds his way to strive. Gazing into strangers' eyes to find his soul mates, knowing he's so much closer than he thought. His heart keeps the light that forever radiates, through all the darkness, until love is taught. And yet again he looks into the skies, he sees the stars, the moon, that light, missing his home beyond the nights, living in love until the end of the fight.

Like shadows on the moon...

Wearing that same stupid smile...

I guess I'm giving in...

I have layers over layers of a memory warped in place. There is the deepest layer, with the ones I love the most, or have shared this journey longest with. Years and years and years. Maybe, I think, these are all the memories I'll ever be able to make. If I remain stuck here, I'll slowly but surely dry out. And so here I am, trapped between layers of my life, like wallpaper on top of wallpaper for centuries, and I need to peel everything away, I need to be the bare boards, no memories, nothing left. But to get rid of some things, I would have to get rid of everything. So here I am. Living on. A house with ghosts.

Put me in drive...

A flicker of hope,

a feeling begins,

rattling bones,

and I start beliving in something again.

A smile like the sun,

under the moon,

the beat of my heart is riding the edge,

of the way I'm about to move.

Don't stop until you get enough...

There's a time in our life when we're about to give up fighting battles that we choose not to tell to anyone. We fall apart, we break into pieces, and find it hard to make ourselves whole again. We tried to start over, but found ourselves breaking once more with memories we tried to forget. We found ourselves crashing to the ground again, and all we ever thought was to give up and let ourselves go. We became hopeless. Love slowly fading, and we started to forget who we truly are. That time is very close, but I'm not there just yet.