I guess I should have said something, anything. I mean for someone who wants to be a writer, it suddenly seemed like no words had ever been written. There had to be something, I'm sure of it. Something that no one had ever said, something that would make this better. One single word could have changed everything. It might have spread like wild fire. One word, might have saved us both. I'd like to think that, but the truth is, we gave up on each other a long time ago. I thought I knew who you were, I see now you were just a lesson to be learned, and a bridge to be burnt...
Doesn't life just seem like so full of connections? A series of images, which pass us by, creating an endless stream of consciousness, one we're not even aware of. Most of the time we don't even pay attention to the depth of life. We blind ourselves from the complexity of it all, because the flat surfaces seem so much more simple, so much more easy to grasp. Yet there are moments in life, which stun us when they happen. And when they do, we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever...
Isn't it funny how you work so hard to run away, you do everything you can to escape the life you knew. Then when you finally get your chance to leave, you always find a reason to stay. When everything you want is handed to you, it's almost as if you're afraid to take it. I think that's what's holding me back - I'm afraid to be happy. Because somewhere along the road I convinced myself I wasn't worth it, that I didn't deserve to be loved. Somehow all that has transpired over the last couple of months, just makes me believe it even more...
