Taking the midnight train, and going anywhere...

I think I'm one of those people who like the chase more than the actual catch. And I have this strangely familiar feeling that my latest obsession will end like all the others. The pattern is agonising, yet eternally comforting. The odds are getting worse with each passing day. The best I can hope for, is that each experience will teach me something, anything, anything at all. Even if it's just taking the time to lie on the grass and think about all the things I still have left to do...

You barely cross my mind anymore, but when you do, I still feel a little sad. You left a huge mark on me, one I'd never admit to in person. I can't even go to the movie theater without remembering everything we shared together. We spoke a language no one else was able to understand, but we didn't care, because we had each other. Sometimes I still wonder if there's a chance we could go back to the way things were, but then it hits me; you can't play on broken strings...

I take one more sip - this is the last one, I swear. It just feels so fucking great to leave this world, to forget. I drink to drown the sorrows of a past no one deserves to live. Just one more, tomorrow I'll stop. It's been five years since she died, since I've been happy. There has to be a better way, there simply must. Everyone looks at me like they're so surprised I can breathe. I need to get out of this town...