Forever united here somehow...

You've got a piece of me...

And so it goes. The stage has nearly been set. The soldier bears arms, and he knows that a war with the heart is never easily won. The only way out, is through. Ignoring each other won't make the pain disappear. Maybe I was wrong for telling you goodbye, maybe I was wrong for trying to pick a fight. Perhaps it was something we needed to experience. I guess we'll never truly know, and now all I can do is find solace in the knowledge that no love between friends is bigger than the one which is given away, torn apart, and yet still it remains.

It's that time of year when things start growing wild and love can be found underneath the stars. We all want to lose ourselves in another person. To believe that life is transcendent and eternal. Sometimes I think they were right putting love in books. Perhaps it can't live anywhere else. As I reminisce about all the times we spent together, I finally feel an overwhelming sense of calm. Because I can honestly say that I'm certain there was a reason for everything that happened that day.

They lived these extraordinary lives that can never be lived again, and in the living of them, they gave me a story like no other. Profound, beautiful, powerful, passionate, deeply hilarious and ultimately unique. Some people are meant to be together forever, sometimes they just get lost along the way.

Swimming against the current...

I just figured out something. I don't want to live for today, and I believe those who do, don't really understand life. Because here's the thing. I think we're supposed to live life like it's a story we would want to tell someone. We should live it like we're writing an epic tale. There is no today, there is only the story of us, and the people who'll tell it once we're gone. And I guess a story isn't good without a few twists, it isn't exciting without drama, it isn't real without heartache, and it is often the complexities of life that make it so incredibly magical.

You're right, you can't expect anyone to save you. You have to be strong for yourself, and most importantly you have to decide when your life isn't enough, when you want more. However that doesn't mean you won't meet people along the way, who might help you see the person you can become, the person you've always been. I still think some of our paths are destined to cross, and when they do, we change each other's lives without us even knowing. We collide when we least expect it, then we never really untangle. We remain together, guiding one another through life and creating the story, we're bound to never forget.

I feel like I'm some kind of frankenstein...

We meet in a field of stone,

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel.

My body's cold

and my guts are twisted steel.

I don't want to spend my time,

waiting for just another try.

I don't know where I'll take this road,

but someone has to go...

Life's a game we're meant to lose...

It's days like this one that make me realise how fragile our existence really is. And as I raise questions I'll never get answers to, I can't help but wonder: will I make it to the end? I don't want to become one of those people who spend their time just waiting for lightning to strike. I want to live while I have the chance and I want, more than anything, a true friend to share it with. So as I look upon the concrete sky, I imagine you putting your hand in mine. Our eyes meet and we secretly make a deal. I'll stick by you, if you stick by me...

Even though I might not be waiting for a thunder storm, I am waiting for something. It's the simplest of all things. Something that lost it's meaning far too long ago. It's love, hope and promise in its purest form. It's life, death and everything in between. It's been so long since I felt it, I mean truly felt it that I don't even think I'd be able to recognise it. But then again, that's never stopped me before. So I guess I'm like a prince, in caste high, waiting for a kiss to bring me back to life...

There are many lessons only time can teach you. Like how much you love someone; it's nearly impossible to know that until you spend your days without them. Then there are the lesson you can only learn through the beating of your heart. Then finally, the essence of time and the power of your heart cross paths, and the only knowledge you're left with, is the realisation that time is the only thing keeping you from letting go. It's never the embracing, or the kisses, not the laughter or the tears, there's only time...

Forgive me father, for I have sinned...

Tragedies happen. We make mistakes. Some are small, others define us for a lifetime. But what are you going to do about it? Quit? I realise now that when your heart breaks, when you do something you know you'll regret, you've got to fight like hell to make sure that even after everything you're still breathing. Because the truth is, you are, and the pain you feel, well that's life. The shame and fear are there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better and believe me, that something is worth fighting for.

I try to close my eyes and convince myself that this is where I want to be, that this is who I want to be. Sometimes I almost succeed. I've changed so much lately. It feels like every single day I wake up a different person. In the past, no matter how bad it got, I always knew in the back of my mind that things would get better. Now for the first time in my life, I don't see a way out. Mistake after mistake, has caused me to lose faith and I don't really have anything left to believe in anymore. Perhaps it is finally time to accept the unacceptable. Perhaps at long last, I can be at peace...

My pursuit of happiness...

Sploh pa, kdo je usoda, da me ustavi?

The united states of Karr...

Do you ever feel like you have more than one voice, more than one mind, more than one soul? Like your personality fluctuates between these different alters, but it never quite settles in on one. Sometimes they battle each other, fighting for dominance. Other times they all seem to benevolently strive towards a common goal. Either way, something doesn't feel right. Something has to give.

It's actually kind of a funny story. It starts the same as any other. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love, boy runs away. He didn't escape because he was afraid, he escaped because what he thought was love, was just another lie he told himself. It seems complicated, but it's really simple. That's the good thing about having alters; when you're about to do something you know deep down inside is a mistake, they'll make sure as hell you don't follow through.

I'm not afraid to admit that I miss you. It's like getting a tooth pulled out. The second it's gone, you feel relieved, but after awhile, you start to notice the gap. And there are days, when you catch yourself missing it terribly. It's going to take a while - she was a major part of my life. However that doesn't mean you should have kept the tooth. It was causing you pain, and even though it hurts, pulling it out was something that had to be done.

Give me instructions for dancing...

It's been too long, far too long. Perhaps I needed time, perhaps you needed it more. I'm so certain of what's to come that I'm afraid of going forward. Maybe just this once, it's going to happen exactly like it's suppose to...

Občutek mam, da nikol ne bo dovolj,

vedno iščem neki več, neki bolj.

Spet tragedija za v knjige,

spet zgodba za v spomin,

spet še ena pesm,

ki sploh neb smela bit.

Občutek mam, da nikol ne bom dovolj,

vedno hočjo več, vedno hočjo bolj.

Drugi ljudje, isti obrazi, enaki dogodki.

Drugo življenje, iste odločitve, enaki postopki.

Ob koncu ugotovim, da konca sploh ni.

Občutek me vara, nism več Ti.

V tem je čar, v tem je poezija,

vrtimo se v krogu,

naš lajf je iluzija...

You ought to give me wedding rings...

I think I'm one of those people who'll always be stuck in the past. I move on, I form new bonds, I live better than ever before. Yet a part of me shall always remain on that beach, feeling forgotten and forever alone. Feeling like there's nothing left in the world, but another sunrise. I hope you know by now that I'm not the kind of person to give up. Though it feels like a storm is brewing once again, I will continue to get up and try. Nothing will keep me down. Nothing will even come close.

Do you ever wonder? I mean about us, about what happened. It was almost like our relationship was a piece of paper crumbled up and thrown away. I wonder what might have happened if we hadn't tossed it down the drain. Do you think we'd still be together? Maybe we never really threw it away. Maybe we're saving it because we're hoping that one day we can pull it out of our pockets and rekindle what we once had. Or maybe it's not even that we want it back, we just don't want to lose it. I wonder that a lot and I wonder, if you wonder sometimes too...

In a chapel yard...

Someone falls to pieces,

someone kills the pain.

Spinning in the silence,

he finally drifts away.

Someone swears his true love,

until the end of time,

another runs away.

Another lays a dozen

white roses on a grave...

Down inside himself he prays...

I've decided I want to start appreciating the times when moments are made into memories. I want to embrace them, cherish them, feel them. Though I know they come scarcely that's not going to stop me. Wherever life takes me, these moments will always follow, they'll always remind me of what's truly important. It's not about life, it's about living. It's the journey and the destination and all the points in between. I have to admit, I'm starting to like what I see...

I think I've finally come to the point in my life where I'm happy with myself and I know I don't have to change or be a certain way for people to accept me. I'll still play the game, I'll play it harder than ever before. The difference is that this time around I'm so much stronger, so much wiser, so much taller. I think it was never about leaving the life I knew, it was just about accepting the part I have to play, the part I chose to play...

Tragedy blows through our life like a tornado. It uproots everything, it creates chaos. It destroys everything you worked for, everything you built. You wait for the dust to settle and then you're left with a simple choice. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it's still the mansion you remember, the life you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild...

Suddenly it all starts to make sense...

Čas je že, se ti ne zdi?

Drive until you lose the road...

Somewhere along in the bitterness I paniced and I found the quickest escape possible. Now as I look back, I realise that I made a mistake, quite a few of them actually, but letting go of you was never one of them. I would have stayed up with you all night, we both know I would. I gave you one more chance and you walked away. I was left with nothing else to do, than to break from the one's I follow, and search for new friends, better friends. Now as I stumble upon people I gave little notice to in the past, I'm beginning to see how many chances I let slip by.

I'd like to believe that it happens to everyone as we grow up. We find out who we are and what we want and then it dawns upon us that the people we've know forever suddenly don't see things the way we do. So we decide to keep the memories but find ourselves moving on. I guess I just got tired of always being the last thing on your mind. So just like a broken record I can't seem to stop reliving the past no matter how much I move forward. I think life is not about tying up loose ends. It's about always having them there, reminding you of what you've lost and what you've yet to gain...

With your presence I choose to live forever...

For a long time now, I've wanted to start over. I wanted to vanish and reappear as someone else, someone who's not afraid to live. I never thought meeting someone hundreds of miles from home was even a possibility, let alone believing that very same person could make me see everything I was missing. Though miles may come between us, you'll always and forever remain in my heart. Don't forget the pact we made, don't forget to stay in touch. I never imagined that you would change my life...

Every now and then, you wake up to a day that affects your whole life. You know you'll never be the same, you'll never think the same about everything and everyone. And it's not the scary kind of change. It's the change you've been waiting for, the change you've been aching for. I think I finally know why it took so long. The thing is, you'll never leave where you are until you can decide where you want to be. For me, the curtains have fallen at last...

How do I speak of the indescribable to you? I will try to explain these feeling that are true. So looking to the sky, I shall sing and from my heart to you I bring all of the words in all of my life, that I could never explain and never describe. All of my love, which is nothing to hide, so I lift up my hands and I worship. I worship you...

I'll always have me...

I love that moment. When I'm in a place filled with inspiration and I completely zone out. I forget about all my troubles, I forget about everyone around me. The past no longer exists, the future doesn't seem so terrifying anymore, and the present makes me glad I'm still here to experience it. Then I just pick up my pen and start writing. It doesn't even matter what I write, because in that magical moment I'm content and everything seems so peaceful.

I've accepted that not everyday is going to be worth waking up in the morning for. It's not always going to be perfect. The trick is to move on, to get up. Sooner or later you'll stumble upon days that really, truly are worth waking up for. And as I bid farewell to one of those days, I can't help but feel grateful. All of a sudden it makes sense. I guess I've always been one of those people who would walk into the sea, just to find memories.

As I take a deep breath, the world around me slows down. The second I stop fighting, time really is on my side, and I can keep on being who I am. The view from up here has never been more beautiful. My eyes have stopped searching, because I can finally say, with absolute certainty, that my heart has found exactly what it's been looking for. I finally found me...