One day, you're young, and planning for someday.
Then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today.
And then someday is yesterday.
And this is your life.
I really need you to understand how hard I'm trying. I'm going against every instinct in my body, against the loud voices and deadly whispers telling me I'm not cut out for this. And I'm doing it for you, because I want to be that person for you. That person, who fulfills your wildest fantasies, and makes you believe in fairytales and happy endings. I want to be your wish come true, and every single dream you've ever dared to conjure. Though I worry still that I'll always be the boy who dedicates himself, to himself. To my art, my sleep, my labours, my suffrances, my loneliness, my unique madness and unusual normality, my endless absorption and hunger - the boy who dreams even when he's awake.
Perhaps the time has come to lay down arms and stop fighting. The time to silence the drums of war, and quench my thirst for marching towards an impenetrable wall, solely for the ambition of trying against all odds. I've been so far gone for such a long time, that I think I've forgotten what it feels like to let go of my insecurities, of my fears and of my understanding that I'll never be good enough. Perhaps the demons I cling to are no longer there for my solace, but have become a burden too heavy to bear. Or maybe they'll always remain hidden somewhere within, quietly reminding me of the path overcome, and the voyage I've promised to embark upon. The moon, the stars, and the beautiful sunset await, and with your hand in mine, the journey suddenly doesn't seem so scary anymore.
