Nothing is built to last...

He takes his jagged soul into his hands and decides to take it apart. He starts with the small pieces, the ones visible to the naked eye, those he can mold easily into stronger connecting fragments. As the exterior begins to take the shape he envisioned, he digs deeper, past the superficial and focuses solely on the demons that he has fought for what seems like an eternity. The battle takes its toll. Blood is spilled and the world trembles as death incarnate sweeps through his heart. When he finally lays down his arms, and as the dust settles, he realises, he is standing in a rubble of destruction and chaos. These parts are harder to rebuild - there is no true guideline or a set of rules on how he should proceed. Fear envelops him, and a shroud of insecurity looms above. Can he really change where it matters? Can he become a better person? A better friend, lover, son and brother? Can he learn to let go and truly save himself? The architecture has been laid out, and the construction is well under way, now all he needs is time and faith that all of this, is not in vain.

This is not a story with a happy ending. It's not one filled with magic or miracles. This is not a fairytale nor a bedtime lesson. It's not something you can learn from or even find meaning in. This is not something that can tell you anything about me. It's not my diary and this is not my life. Everything you read here is simply the ramblings of someone who finds solace in the words he writes, because so many other things don't make sense. This is not a cry for help, and it does not beg your attention or kindness. The fact that you are reading this means nothing. We are not connected and we are not friends because of it. The streams of my mind that are spilled here are for me. This story is mine to tell how I see fit, and for the first time since I started this thing that is not a blog, I secretly wish I never did. Too much has been given, too much revealed, and too little kept to myself. I am no longer free, because everything about me is up to unravel if you so desire. I have conceded my every thought, every emotion, every horrible thing I have ever done, and in return, I was given a void of silence that echoes through my heart and implodes my chest. I have given you all that I have and more, yet here stand, once again, looking for answers where there are none, and trying to change the trajectory of a path I should have accepted long ago.