I have always believed that my history defined me. That where I was, is a clear indication of where I'm going. But now I think it's time to either fall back on what I know, on who I've been falling back to for the better part of this year, or perhaps take a step forward, towards something new, towards someone new. I'd be lying if I said I never cared about you, because I did, and for a split second there I truly thought you were the love of my life, yet as it turns out, the love I needed all along, doesn't come from another person - it comes from me. The satisfaction of knowing that I am enough for myself, has filled me with an endless stream of serenity. And while you might resurface here and there, and I might indulge some of my primal needs, know that as you look into my eyes, you shall see only a reflection of yourself, and gain no understanding of who I am or who I want to be.
As the floodgates barely hold all his sorrow and all his rage, it is evident that something has to change. Something has to give. He has put in the work, and he has dried the tears which have been wept, now all that remains is the long march across no-man's land, to the very edge of the world, then right back home. A journey without a clear start, without any road signs whatsoever, and with bumps and perils at every turn. One of incomprehensible magnitude and of dire consequence for not only him, but every single person in his life, for his inevitable downfall shall resonate into a future of discontent, and as always misery has a way of twisting reality, of destroying friendships and burying lost loves. Yet his swan song is far away, because this is only the beginning, and this is his game face - ready for everything, ready for anything.
