I keep you at arms length because I am afraid. There is no simpler truth than that. I'm scared that I'd let myself love you too much, that I would fall beneath the weight of the pressure I would feel to make you happy. It happened before, and I don't trust myself enough to see if our story would unfold any differently. I hope you know that even though I might not show it, you have taught me more about who I am than anyone that came before. You make me smile in ways I never thought another person could and somehow, you are a habit I cannot shake. We've been at this game for many months, but it feels as if we meet each other anew every single time you lay in my arms, and I lay in yours. You came into my life when I was lower than I dare to admit, and you saw me through thick and thin - even when things got ugly, even when I begged you to leave. Perhaps one day, when the stars align, and we find ourselves gazing at each other from across the room, we shall suddenly have the courage to do what must be done. It will not be a glorious spectacle, but a quiet remembrance, and the most trivial of choices to forget what has happened, and start building a union which can overcome the greatest of struggles and the biggest of love's.
