He wanted to break new ground. He wanted to leave a legacy. Something that would be remembered even when the world would turn to ash and fog. He wanted his life, his mind, his existence to mean something. What struck him as mesmerising is that he never really thought about, the thing he never really wrapped his brain around until now, was that in order to do that, in order to be remembered, in order to leave something significant behind, you have to leave. You have to die. You have to forever hold your breath. It's true, he's afraid of dying. He is afraid of the world moving forward without him, of his absence going unnoticed. Is it selfish? Is he such a bad person for dreaming of a world that ends when he does? That he wishes that every set of eyes would close with his?