Everyone talks about letting go like it's the easiest thing.
Uncurl your fingers one by one until your hand is open.
But his hand has been clenched into a fist for almost 4 years now;
it's frozen shut.
But I was naive and didn't know better and someone should have told me to capture every second and every kiss and every night, because now I'm sitting here in an office I have come to despise and it's getting really hard to breath because tears are growing in my throat and they want to break out, but there are people watching and I just want to be somewhere silent somewhere still. But still I don't want to be alone because I'm scared and lonely and I don't understand, because I was alone my whole life, my whole life I was so damn lonely and I was content with that because I liked myself and my own company and I didn't need anyone, I thought. But then I met you and everything changed. So, someone should have told me that love is for those few brave who can handle the unbearable emptiness, the unbearable guilt and lack of oneself, because I lost myself to someone I love and I might get myself back one day but it will take time, a lot of time. I wish someone would have prepared me for this. Someone should have told me the truth.
