Take the world, blow it up...

Hollowness: this I understand, and I have found that there isn't anything you can do to fix it. That's what I've taken from our talks during these past few days: the holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mold yourself through the gaps.

Another page turns on the calendar. September now, not August anymore. I am spinning the silk threads of my story, weaving the fabric of my world. I spun out of control. Getting up in the morning was hard. Going to work was harder. Putting a smile on my face was hardest. I wanted to swallow the bitter seeds of forgetfulness, yet somehow, I dragged myself out of the dark and did literally the bare minimum to feel alive again. I spin and weave and knit my words and visions until a life starts to take shape. There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected jolt of motivation, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore. I am thawing.