Keeping the dream alive...

The truth beckons...

The choices I have made created these burdens I currently bear. Snap decisions that seemed like the pursuit of my destiny, but turned out to be pitfalls of my delusions of grandeur and ego. And now I am stuck here, between a rock and a hard place, with sorrow I don't know how to shake. It is slowly breaking me, even though I am putting on a brave face. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. All I see is darkness enveloping me with each passing moment. Deeper and deeper. Is there some choice I am blind to, that would lead me from this cursed state? Something that would make the universe heed my calls once more?

Some might call me unholy...

Everything turns in circles and spirals with the cosmic heart until infinity. Everything has a vibration that spirals inward or outward - and everything turns together in the same direction at the same time. This vibration keeps going: it becomes born and expands or closes and destructs - only to repeat the cycle again in opposite current. Like a lotus, it opens or closes, dies and is born again. Such is also the story of the sun and moon, of me and you. Nothing truly dies. All energy simply transforms.

See, forgiveness doesn't happen all at once. It's not an event - it's a process. Forgiveness happens while you're asleep, while you're dreaming, while you're in line at the coffee shop, while you're showering, eating, jerking off. It happens in the back of your mind, and then one day you realize that you don't hate the person anymore, that your anger has gone away somewhere. And you understand. You've forgiven them. You don't know how or why. It sneaked up on you. It happened in the small spaces between thoughts and in the seconds between ideas and blinks. Because anger and hatred, when left unfed, bleed away like air from a punctured tire, over time and days and years. Forgiveness is stealth. At least, that's what I hope.