I hate him. I really do. He has everything I wish I had. He is on the path I dream about every single night I go to sleep. It's as if the purpose of his entire existence is to mock me. Taunt me. I try to distance myself. I try to forget about it. I distract myself as much as I can. I pray, I wish, yet nothing seems to help...
The world I so desperately want to enter has been closed of quite some time ago. But to this day I find it impossible to move on, to accept it. I keep tackling the door, but it never budges. Not even one bit. I pity myself for being this stubborn. I thrive in disappointment. I feed of the pain and anguish. It's how I've been ever since... It happened... I don't know how to survive any other way. I know it's over. I know the door will never buckle. I know that I can never ask for forgiveness. I know that I can never be forgiven...
I hate him. I really do. My reaction might be misguided. Simplistic. But none of that changes the fact that he managed to tear down the indestructible door. He succeeded where I failed. And for that reason alone he must be punished. The plan has been set in motion. He is going to pay. One way or another...
